Things that annoy me in low MMR solo queue

OK so firstly it seems a bit negative to start with a rant, but there we are. Also, what I mean here is things other than being bad at the game. Anyone can be bad at the game – it’s easy to criticise people for silly item builds, or feeding, or selfish play. But what really really bugs me is the following (warning, dear reader, I may lapse into the second person here).

1) Everyone else picks a hard carry, then complains when we lose

If you pick a stupid hero with no regard to the balance of the team then how can you whine when we get smashed in the laning phase?

The absolute most important period in any game of Dota is the laning phase. If you win the lanes, you almost always win the game – particularly at low MMR when we don’t have the experience to put together a comeback. The bottom line is that if you are 5-0 down after 10 minutes, the game is horribly difficult to win, and so your proposed Medusa-Antimage offlane might not be for the best.

2) People pick at the last second

You don’t communicate in chat to co-ordinate hero picks, and you pick your hero at the last second before the game starts. We then have a stupid team.  The only reasons I can think of that you might hide your hero choice until the last second are that (i) you genuinely are dithering between sniper and drow, or (ii) because you want to counter-pick the opposition. I have news for you – at 1600 MMR counter picking doesn’t matter. That is why we end up with no natural mid, no coherent pushing strategy, 4 melee guys or no disables at all.

If you know who you are going to pick, and you are going to pick that hero whatever anyone else picks, then for God’s sake please do so with 20 seconds left. Particularly if you are solo – there is a chance that your team mates are on voice chat and can pick heroes that dovetail well with you.

3) Playing random heroes in ranked

 Yes, when Purge does it it’s fine. He can play all the heroes really really well. You can’t. Last night’s 1-16 Tusk is a case in point http://www.dotabuff.com/matches/856277687  Pick a hero that you are familiar with, or at least have looked up on the Wiki beforehand and maybe watched a video.

If you absolutely must random, and you get Io, for God’s sake repick and save us all the hassle.

4) “We need wards”

I’m the only support because you fuckers all picked hard carries. All of you did. I am desperately trying to get together enough regen to stay in lane and protect this idiotic faceless void. Once I have that regen, you’ll get your damn wards. Until then piss off.

5) Invoker

Stop it. Seriously. Yes Sunstrike is a good spell. No, you can’t land it for shit. He’s a “high skill ceiling hero”. Your skill level is more ankle level. Pick Viper instead.

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